Advance vs. Intimate Guide
First things first, if you have not yet read Tantric Massage - An Intimate Guide for Lovers, do that. The Intimate Guide to Tantric Massage is suitable for everyone who wants to enhance the quality of intimate connections with their lovers.
The Intimate Guide is like a comprehensive introduction. After that, when you come to this Advanced Guide, you will be ready to enter another level: a deeper level within, and a higher level beyond. It would be particularly suitable for you if you are attuned to vibrations and energy, or have been doing meditation, yoga, mindfulness, embodiment, or other spiritual practices.
In case you do not know what tantric massage is about, or what the benefits are, or whether it is for you and your lover, you may want to read up Tantric Massage Therapy for some background as well.
Are you ready now? We will revisit the three parts as in the Intimate Guide, but going deeper:
Part 1: Enter the Sacred Realm of Tantra
Part 2: Tantric Communion
Part 3: No Beginning No End
Now, let’s begin.
Part 1: Enter the Sacred Realm of Tantra
This is not to replace what you already know and practice, but to give you hints on how to bring your tantric massage into the sacred realm.
A Tantric vow
Make it special. Make it an expression of your love for each other. Tantric massage is not a fancy foreplay. Have both of you agree beforehand that the tantric massage is your sacred gift to each other. Approach each other with the intention of pure veneration, of the body, of its energy, and of the spirit within. It is not about achieving better orgasm, nor any goals. Set the right intentions, instead of expectations. And very importantly, express your vows verbally to each other, because that is the first step of making this sacredness your reality.
The Art of Surrendering
Surrender and be vulnerable. It is based on care and clarity. It is about fully trusting. It requires both of you to be fully honest with yourselves and with each other. You need to sense what you are keen to explore or not, and communicate that with your partner. For example, having a yoni massage or not; having a prostate massage or not; using massage tools or not; or simply a shower of caresses. Even when you have been together for a long time, your preferences may change every time. So, do not skip the talk beforehand.
Make it like a ritual. Breathe in deeply together, then breathe out fully together. Communicate your desires and your boundaries., your yes’s and your no’s, and then verbalise your mutual surrender into each other's care.
Sacred space of Tantric Massage
Create a sacred tantric space. The physical is the manifestation of the spirit and the soul. Craft a sacred space where you can forget about the mundane and enter the realm of the soul. For example, you may bring in some tantric symbols such as Lingam and Yoni, Yantras, Shiva and Shakti, Chakras, Kundalini, etc. Or maybe you can bring in pictures, drawings, or statues that have a deeper meaning for you, and invite them to preside over this sacred ceremony of your tantric massage.
Part 2: Tantric Communion
Now everything is ready. Let’s begin a sacred journey, step by step. You may consider the elements in this part as the « software ». You do not need to do everything by the book. Start by experimenting with some of the elements, and see how it goes. Gradually, all will become familiar and come naturally to you.
Reiterate your intentions for co-creating a sacred tantric journey together. For example, it can be for elevating your devotion to each other, or it can be dedicated to discovering and honoring the sacred feminine and sacred masculine within you. It is not about religion, but you can say it like a prayer. on. Take turns to say it, and say it from your heart. Make your voice heard by yourself and by your lover. Make this your sacred communion. You may even call in any divine support if that is something you resonate with.
Bow to the divine in each other. You do not need to have a religious inclination, nor do you need to imagine a deity for this. It is an attitude that you adopt. It is about acknowledging the most precious essence of yourself and of your partner. Bow to this essence that you are deeply in love with. Take a moment for this. You may do this with closed eyes through your imagination. Or you may try to do this as part of your eye-gazing.
Enter the sacred realm through the eyes of the soul. Truly see each other, and truly be seen as you are. There is nothing to hide. There is nothing to show. Seeking nothing. Expecting nothing. This can be a very powerful moment, especially if you are not used to it. You may even already reach a communion of an undescribable level never experienced before, just with your four eyes melting into one.
Bring in the life force. There is no need for any special breathwork techniques. Not much more than what your autonomous nervous system is already doing. Just bring in your awarenss with consistency. Inhale and exhale. Go a bit more deeply. Becoming aware of the flow of this life force in and out of you. You may try synchronized breathing together. Perhaps once synchronized, your breathing will remain harmonious throughout the massage.
Giving and receiving
Be responsive in giving, and be active in receiving. Giving is not simply giving. You are responding to what you perceive from your lover. Based on that perception, you are then sharing a befitting gift through your touch. Receiving is not a passive act either. It is opening up to welcome the gift bestowed upon you, and actively taking it all in, or maybe even showing your natural response to pleasure in real-time too. It is a constant circular flow of energy that feeds and grows with each other.
Tune into your very own divine music. Your voice is a product of your breath and your energy going through you vocal chord. So, let it flow. Express yourself. Let your vibration come through your voice. Let your sensations speak. Moan if you want. Scream if you will. Laugh as it pleases you. It also gives hints to your partner in a very direct way, speaking straight to their intuition and inspiring him or her. Use it.
Bring yourself into this state of mind when you enter a tantric massage: you are returning to celebrating pleasure as an integral part of the sacred and being human. It is joyous and natural. It is wild and untamed. It is imagination and inspiration unleashed through the life force as manifested in the physical body. Eroticism elevates the body, soul, and mind. It is the opposite of mechanical or profane.
And the secret to entering this erotic realm is a combination of imagination, a leap of faith, and a lot of practice.
Imbue your touch with a delicacy and care apt for touching a flower. Move your hands smoothly on your partner’s body, like wading through the water in a brook. And these are just examples of how your imagination can inform your touch. So, let your inspirations run the show. Be curious and adventurous. Sense how it feels on your own hands while touching. Sense how your partner responds as your hands move along his or her skin. Let the attention of both of you take a sensual tour of the undulating and mysterious landscape of the body. Enjoy your ride into the journey of this tantric bodily exploration.
Show up just as you are. Show all your deep feelings. Share your wildest fantasies. Speak out for your indomitable desires. Show up with even the bits that you may be timid about. Ask for how you want to touch or be touched. Embrace yourself fully, and allow yourself to be embraced fully by your partner too. Authenticity is a powerhouse. Being authentic may seem like a vulnerable place to be. But it is not. Owning how you are and how you feel is, in fact, owning your power.
Dance until the end of time. This is the unique beauty of this tantric dance, in which there is only the here and now. The only thing that exists in your focus is touching and being touched, with all the sensations that arise with it. The world unfolds with your touch and awareness in the sensorial. You are in the eternal present moment. Welcome to the timeless realm.
Part 3: No Beginning, No End
Become the fusion of the masculine and the feminine. The complementarity of Yin and Yang. In the tantric tradition, this is embodied in the Yap-Yum symbol, meaning literally « Father-Mother ». That is the holy union of love and wisdom, Shiva-Shakti as One.
It is a state of being. It has also been represented in art as a specific form of embrace that you can do as a ritual at the end of a tantric massage to embody this state of being. It will certainly deepen your connection with each other.
Entering the Void
Meditate together without touching each other. Take the space to contemplate within yourself again. Noticing the energy circulating within you. You may feel extreme peace and serenity within. You may feel deep love and gratitude for each other. You may even remember a state of void that you may have always known but forgot.
It is also possible that you may enter a state of expansion like a "blank-out", which seems to blow away everything for a while, as if you have lost consciousness. Allow this void if it happens. This is sometimes called energetic orgasm or full-body orgasm. You may realize that you already have everything. You are whole. The other is already within you. You are already within the other.
Now you have more pointers to go deeper in your tantric massage with your lover. As in the Intimate Guide for Tantric Massage, some of these principles can be practiced on their own. They can also be inspiring for other massages, or help to ignite your sex life and intimacy.
If you do not yet feel confident in attempting this tantric massage with your lover directly, and would like to have professional guidance, contact me now: firstname.lastname@example.org
In the upcoming articles in this series, I will also delve into the specifics of yoni massage, lingam massage, and prostate massage:
In case you do not know yet what tantric massage is about, what the benefits are, or whether it is for you and your lover, you may also want to read up for some background here: